


Let Me Forget

by ColdAndBrokenHallelujah



Category: Zombies Run!
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/F, F/M, Gen, Imprisonment, Mind Control, Minor Violence, Spoilers up to Season 5 Mission 14, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 03:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9859823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdAndBrokenHallelujah/pseuds/ColdAndBrokenHallelujah
Summary: After being captured Five is imprisoned inside of Abel's walls. She soon finds that she is not alone. Sometimes the people that hurt us the most, live inside our heads for longer than they should.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers through Season 5 Mission 14. This work contains descriptions of male on female physical violence and intimidation.

Five groaned and opened her eyes slowly. Her head was pounding and her side, where the Taser had been administered, ached. She reached up and felt the blood that had dried at her hairline. One of her eyes was harder to open than the other. She touched it gently. More blood, hard and crusty had become stuck in her eyelashes. “Damn….” Five muttered. She tried to look around as best she could. There wasn’t much to see. She was in a cell, alone, in the dark, and had been like this since her capture. It was cold and miserable. Nothing that she was wearing, a well-worn tank top, leggings, socks, and her favorite sneakers was much protection from her surroundings. She had lost track of how long she had been here and had no idea how long she would be forced to stay. She wiggled one leg and felt the shackle that had been placed on her ankle rub against raw, blistered skin. The steel links clattered together, making a small tinkling sound with every movement.  


Force of habit made Five reach up towards where her headset normally rested against her ear. A rueful smile spread across her face. It had been vital that she quickly destroy it before she was captured. The memory of the plastic giving way underneath her hands with a small pop was still vivid. After it was done she had just stared at the pieces that then rested in each of her hands, knowing what was coming next. Eventually, she dropped the two halves of the headset and watched them hit the ground, bouncing away from each other. Her connection with Sam had been severed and she was truly alone.

“Gaia help us Five. Still day dreaming about Sam. Really?” A soft feminine laugh pierced her skull. Five dropped her head to her knees. She hated that her mind did this during times of stress. “I tried to keep you safe but you ignored me. Assumed that I didn’t know what I was talking about. Sam sent you here and you still trust him. Why is that Five?” 

Five rose to her feet and stumbled to the other side of her small cell. “Go away!” It was in pointless. She knew that Moonchild wouldn’t leave. She never did. Was it even possible to force the disembodied voice of a dead hippie to understand that she was dead and needed to be quiet? This conversation was a common one and usually left Five questioning her sanity. Being locked in solitary confinement wasn’t helping. Maybe, this time, she would really go crazy and stay that way. She could hear the cries of another prisoner off in the distance. He had been whimpering on and off for days. She hoped that they would let him out soon. Not only for his sake, but for hers.

“You should eat something. I can see your aura weakening and the color is all wrong. You always had such a strong aura. It was one of the things that drew me to you.” Moonchild laughed again, sensing when Five winced from the proclamation. Any talk of love or emotion made Five uncomfortable. It had been a trick then and it was, certainly, a trick now. 

In her distracted state Five tripped and fell to her hands and knees. She was weak and was coming to the point where she couldn’t ignore it. She rolled back so that she was sitting on her bottom, pressing back against the wall. “Damn it!” She muttered, looking down at her leggings. There was now a large tear in the fabric and she could clearly see the now scuffed skin of her knee. 

“I don’t know why you won’t let us eat.” Moonchild said softly. ”You have to listen to me. I want to be there for you. Trust me Five”

“No!” Five answered back angrily “It’s not my fault they are barely feeding me. I refuse to beg for more food. Deal with it or get the hell out of my head. If I don’t care than you shouldn’t either.” She refused to give in. What they handed her everyday would barely keep a cat alive. Ian was tormenting her on purpose and she would not give him the satisfaction. Five had taught herself a long time ago how to ignore pain. She wasn’t surprised that Moonchild couldn’t. She had been so used to getting what she wanted.

“Oh Five” The sound reverberated throughout Five’s skull, annoying her. There was always a sing song quality to Moonchild’s voice and Five hated it. Nobody spoke like that in real life. Where was her real voice? Not that it mattered. Not that Five cared. “I can’t leave you now. You need me. Without me you would be in here all alone. Can you imagine?” 

“I am alone. You’re a figment of my imagination and you don’t exist.” Five glared at her injured knee and began to rub at it with her thumb angrily. Blood had begun to well up over the scratch. It was pretty pointless to try to clean the spot but it gave her something to do and the pain gave her something to focus on besides Moonchild. All she managed to do was smear blood everywhere. “In fact, you’re dead.” She heard the other voice in her head inhale sharply and begin to argue. “Definitely dead. I saw it…..”

“I don’t feel dead. You don’t talk to me like I’m dead. You’re in pain Five and scared.” Moonchild retorted. “That’s why you want to hurt me but you can’t.” Five’s response was a frustrated curse. “I used to be so good at calming you down. Remember? You would come back from a run so tense, so tormented. I knew just what to say to ease your mind…. Just how to touch you….” Five hated to think back to those moments. “I loved you…..” Five grasped her knees and drew them to her chest. There was nobody around to see her and in spite of her stubbornness, Five felt the tears slide down her dirty face. 

“You didn’t love me” Five sobbed “You wanted to keep me and to use me.” She guessed that this was the aim of the solitary confinement. To break her spirit. “You did use me. I killed all those….”

“They use you, your friends from Abel” Moonchild said, interrupting Five and forcing her to stop talking. “That’s why you’re here. Janine wants her labs secured and her home returned. She sent you here and Sam helped her. Like always. Is there a difference between me and them? Between me and Sam?” Moonchild sighed. “You still don’t have an answer, do you” Five picked her head up. The far off crying had stopped. Whoever he was, he had worn himself out again, or his torture had stopped. Now Five could hear the footsteps headed her way. Dread started to pool in her stomach. A few moments later the door to her cell swung open and the two men walked inside. 

“Morning Runner 5….” Ian said. He was just a caricature of his former self, over the top and over dramatic. Still Five recognized the danger. An ego that fragile was a dangerous component in an already fraying personality. “Just checking on my newest and most important captive. The minister is very happy I’ve caught you. They said it would be impossible. Five is too quick. Five is too smart….” She didn’t even look up. This wasn’t the first time he had been in her cell in order to taunt her. She knew that it would rile him, but she didn’t care. He craved the feeling of power he had over everyone in Abel. Five wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. 

“I would have protected you from this Five, if you had stayed with me.” Moonchild whispered inside of her head. “Look at all the damage he’s doing to your, once radiant, spirit.” Five rolled her eyes out of impulse. It was a misstep. Ian saw it and the look on his face was suddenly ferocious. Five knew that she was about to pay for her small mistake. She tried to brace herself for it as best she could. Ian charged towards her. He stooped, leaning down to grab her arm. Without any care he hastily hoisted, the already injured and weak Five to her feet. He held on to her until he was sure that she would stand. Ian shook her hard, causing her head to whip from back to front. She wavered slightly, her knees feeling as though they would buckle. In spite of the abuse, she forced herself to stay upright. If she allowed herself to fall he would just try again or she would be on the floor and at the mercy of his boot. Five closed her eyes. Ian took a step back and then without any warning back handed her, hard, across the face. The sound echoed throughout the room.

Her head snapped to the side and her cheek burned. Stars swam in front if Five’s vision and, instantly, she tasted blood. Her legs gave way and she slammed down to the floor, hard. Five swallowed the sob that threatened to escape from her throat. Her mind was reeling, trying to compare this to being chained to the back of a jeep, being experimented on, and being mind controlled into murdering a flotilla of innocent people. Which was worse? She couldn’t decide and, without being conscious of it, a small, sarcastic smile crept across her face. Ian saw it and a look of pure fury twisted his features. Five backpedaled, trying desperately to put herself out of Ian’s reach. Putting her hands out to ward him off, she quickly found herself backed up against the wall. He tried to grab her again but someone stepped out of the shadows and stopped him.

“If you keep that up you will kill her before the Minister gets here. The orders are to keep her alive. There are plans for this Runner.” Ian shook Steve off. “We need her” It was obvious that Ian wanted Five to pay for that smile. He wanted everyone who ever doubted him to know how much pain he could cause now. He glared down at her before closing the gap between them once again. He crouched down beside her and grabbed her by the ponytail. With a quick movement, he jerked her head back and forced Five to look at him.

“You won’t be laughing when we’re done with you Abel Runner. All those heroics, it will have been for nothing. I’m in charge here now. You’re ours and there’s nobody to save you. You’re their best and you failed…. Steve is right though. Can’t destroy that pretty face.” Ian yanked her hair one more time, eliciting a small yelp of pain before letting go. He stalked past Steve who had been quietly observing the whole scene. Five assumed it was so he could stop Ian from killing her by accident. Five looked up, her eyes boring into his. Was he responsible for her capture? She couldn’t tell. So cool, so calm. He gave nothing away.  
Steve knelt down next to her. “It will be over soon love…” He said as he reached up to wipe the blood away from her lip. “Minister just wants to talk to you. She’s on your side. Abel can be home again if you are just willing to see things our way.” He looked at her for a moment but his face was blank. Without another word Steve stood and walked out of her cell as well. The door slamming behind them both.

“All alone again Five. Except for me. I am all you have now…….” Moonchild was off again on one of her long soliloquies. Five wasn’t listening. Sometimes she wondered how it was possible that she could tune out a voice inside her own head. How do you ignore yourself?

“I have an answer to your question.” Five turned her head to the side and spit out the blood that had started pooling in her mouth. “They don’t use me. Not like you did.” Five said softly. “You forced your way into my mind and twisted my thoughts. You hurt me. You have fractured me in ways that will never heal and I’ll always be just a little bit broken now. That’s your fault Moonchild.” Five peered into the darkness of her small cell. She knew that she wouldn’t see anyone. Still, Five always found herself looking to see if her tormenter would somehow appear. It was a fear she had been carrying around since her rescue. That Moonchild would suddenly find a way to call her back.

“You were mine Five.” Moonchild’s sounded more forceful. It was less a statement and more like an order. Five could remember having conversations like this this in the past. “The universe sent you right into my path. That’s why it worked with you. Everything aligned just right and I took you. Only you wouldn’t stay……. That other runner, the one with the damaged spirit, stole you away. Ruined my plans and destroyed your destiny….He’s dead though. Isn’t that right?…..the universe has a way of making things even.”

“Please….” Five cried out. She squeezed her eyes shut in hopes that somehow she would hit the reset button inside her mind and make this stop. Why was she torturing herself? Why couldn’t she force Moonchild to be quiet? Simon was dead because he gave up. Chris was dead because of a careless mistake. Sarah was dead because of a noble sacrifice. Archie was dead because Five hadn’t gotten there fast enough. The guilt of being alive, being rescued, or managing to escape while others couldn’t ate at her. Maybe this would be the time when she didn’t escape. How much more fight could she possibly have?

“I love you Five. That’s why I’m still here. All I wanted was for us to be together. We could have made the world a better place. There would have been happiness again.” Moonchild was pleading with her. Just like she used to when Five would pine for Abel during their time together.  
“Possession isn’t love.” Five sighed and sniffled once. “You’re still here, inside my head, even though I want you to leave. If you loved me you would let me go, let me forget, and stop breaking my heart.” She began picking at the torn edge of her leggings once again, making the hole in the knee bigger. Her gaze wandered over to a scar that now ran across the inside of her right palm. She could remember, vividly, how she acquired it. It had happened when she stuck her hand through a broken widow in a desperate attempt to hold on to her best friend. In her haste she sliced her hand on a shard of broken glass.

“When Sarah was born and Sam was on one side of the barred window and I was on the other. He handed her to me.” Five took a deep breath. It seemed so long ago now. It had been the worst day of her post-apocalyptic life. She thought about it often and that one day had even crept its way into her nightmares. “Sam trusts all of his Runners and he had to know that any of them would bring Sarah back to Maxine. He made me promise that I wouldn’t stop until I got her back to her moms. That I wouldn’t hand her to anybody else. Do you know why?” 

Moonchild had gone still for a moment. The quiet hung in the air and several seconds ticked by making Five keenly aware of the silence. For a moment Five feared that Moonchild had gone, leaving her truly alone and without the satisfaction of an answer. Their time together was always full of starts and stops. There was no rhyme or reason to any of it. “He was saving his baby, Five. You’re the fastest and the strongest. You were the best way to get her back to Abel. He was using you.”

“Not quite.” Five shrugged. “Partially, it was about getting Sarah back, but there was more. Sam knew that I would claw my way into that building and try to save him. I would fail and I would die. He saved me by making me promise…..and he died, alone, instead. I listened to him scream in pain…...” Five took a deep breath “I wanted to go back but I had Sarah. I thought about passing her to someone else. It would have been so easy. But Sam didn’t want me to die in a pointless effort to save him. He forced me to save her and to save myself. He cared about me enough to shove me away when he needed me most. That’s what you don’t understand about them, him…. or me.” She stared for a moment longer at her scarred palm and then turned her hand back over. 

Off in the distance Five could hear Abel Township beginning to wake up and come to life. She wanted to be out there with everyone. Sometimes she forget that her Abel was several miles away, living in an underground bunker. This wasn’t home anymore. Her throbbing head, her bloody ankle, and her split lip let her know where she stood in this new community. It would never be home again, not as long as the Ministry was in charge. 

“Are you gone….” Five whispered into the darkness. She waited for a few seconds and there was no answer. This is how it always was. Moonchild would come and go. She never stayed and that was the way Five preferred it. Five lay down and curled into the fetal position, making her body as small as possible. She used her hands to pillow her swollen and bloodied face. “Good.” She muttered as she closed her eyes and felt herself drifting off to sleep. It wouldn’t be peaceful, nothing ever was lately. There was always tomorrow. Nothing lasted forever, not even death it seemed.


End file.
